This is the most important and probably the most challenging part of caring for your emotional life. Although you cannot control what happens to you, you can control your reactions and manage your feelings.

Taking responsibility for your emotions means that you stop lying to yourself. And that’s problematic because most of us have unconsciously created social coping mechanisms, and we often live in the bubble of our presumptions and beliefs about ourselves.

Taking responsibility for your emotions means that you stop hiding behind others’ opinions. You stop blaming others for your sadness or anger. The problem isn’t about some guy or girl telling you that you’re not attractive—the problem is that you believe them.

Taking responsibility also means that you have the courage to admit to some emotional issues and seek professional help if you need it.

When you start consciously observe your emotions, you may see some patterns or habits you like or don’t like in yourself. Being aware of your feelings is the first step toward analyzing them and working on them.

For example, if you see that you get upset every time someone talks about their foreign luxury trip, you may start analyzing why you feel that way. Are you jealous of their money, courage, or something else? Maybe you’re angry because you’d like to go on such a trip, but you don’t have a travel companion? Or perhaps you don’t like traveling and don’t envy them, but you worry that your non-traveling lifestyle seems dull?

Your findings may hurt, but there’s nothing more liberating than figuring out your genuine thoughts and feelings. When you do it, you’ll be on your way to creating a lifestyle that is in line with your character and priorities.

If you want to take this task seriously, run a journal for a few days or weeks. Observe your emotions hour by hour, and write down how you feel at a certain moment.

Observe your reactions to everything that happens to you during the day. If you notice a shift in your emotions, write down what triggered it.

We deal with sensory overload every day. Work, ambitious plans, urgent tasks, deadlines, household chores, social media, politics, FOMO—our minds are attacked by these things regularly.

After an intense day, most of us feel exhausted. We don’t have time or willingness to take care of personal goals or a healthy lifestyle. It’s understandable because it’s not possible to be full of energy all the time. We’re not robots that can be programmed.

When you’re overworked and overstressed, you’re more likely to give up your goals or care less about your well-being. But it’s a trap. Without taking time to relax, your mental health will undoubtedly suffer.

In the daily rush, find some time for, as Italians would say, “dolce far niente”: pleasant idleness. Find time to indulge in simple pleasures and not hurry. Don’t look at your phone in the first hour after you wake up, meditate, go for a walk in the park. Whatever works for you.

Relaxing is just as important as productive work. The sooner you understand it, the better.

Let me quote Joseph Conrad here: “If you don’t make mistakes, you don’t make anything.”

Whenever you try to get out of your comfort zone, start a new business or project, etc., you risk making mistakes. And that’s normal. I made many mistakes in my life so far, will probably make some more 😉 Many successful people have their share of failures to talk about.

Don’t get paralyzed by fear that people will point fingers at you or laugh at you if you fail. Those people usually don’t have their own accomplishments, and pointing fingers is all the satisfaction they have in life.

Instead, realize that by not taking action, you lose much more. You risk that in 10, 20, 30 years, you’ll be overwhelmed by regret that you had never tried pursuing your dreams.

No one is perfect, and no one will ever be. If you take action, sometimes you win big, but sometimes you lose. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Let your failures make you, not break you.

How do you feel when you’re on vacation? You’re probably relaxed, you have fewer worries, you enjoy small pleasures like the sound of waves crashing on the shore, simple dinner in a local restaurant, or watching the sunset. How about having this attitude in your everyday life?

When was the last time you enjoyed the sunset in your hometown or opened a bottle of excellent wine on an ordinary day? When was the last time you went for a long walk in the nearest park, watching squirrels or enjoying the birds singing? When was the last time you left your phone in another room and didn’t look at it for hours?

I know that a walk in the city park isn’t the same as a walk along the tropical beach. But instead of complaining or daydreaming about your next vacation, change your mentality and make small pleasures a part of your ordinary day.

If you’re reading this post, you probably have much to be thankful for. For example, you could have been born and raised in a country with low literacy levels and struggle to get even primary education. But you probably haven’t. You got lucky.

We see so many beautiful posts on Instagram and hear so many success stories that we often focus on what we don’t have instead of what good happens to us.

It’s great to set goals, but it’s also essential to appreciate what you have. Practice gratitude regularly. Every evening, bring back all the good memories about the day that just passed. Maybe you had a meaningful, honest conversation with someone, or you finished an ambitious project at work; or you found a lovely bakery just around the corner.

You have more things to be grateful for than you can imagine. Just think about them regularly, with intent, and your days will get better.

In our everyday life, we’re flooded by stories and photos of people who have better lives than we do—or at least, this is what they want us to believe. People like to show their successes publicly, but they usually refrain from showing their failures. Be aware of that.

Ok, but how to get rid of all the jealousy and learn to appreciate others’ successes? There’s one thing that works for me: focusing on my own life and taking action.

When you set goals and work towards them, you stop thinking about others. You feel better about yourself, have your own successes to be proud of, and learn how much work is necessary to achieve something. You appreciate others’ successes more if you know from personal experience that success usually costs a lot of time and effort.

Warren Buffett once said: “Honesty is an expensive gift. Don’t expect it from cheap people.”

An honest conversation can be cathartic; it can free your mind from doubts and worries. Having a friend, or a family member, who listens to you with an open mind and is honest with you, is priceless.

Be honest and seek honesty among the people you meet. It’s easy to lie to another person to make them feel better, but it’s much harder to give real advice and help.

I lost some people around me (“friends”) because of my honesty, but I also got to know people I can trust (that is, real friends).

Some people and some things don’t belong to our lives.

Let go of people who make you feel bad, keep undermining you, criticize you constantly. I know it’s easier said than done because sometimes we have toxic people in our families, and we can’t just break contact (or … can we? 😉 ). In this case, don’t let such a person get to you: be aware that some people just can’t be pleased, and they will disapprove of everything, no matter what you do. You can’t change them, so learn how to ignore their remarks.

Also, let go of things you don’t need—sell them if you can, and throw the rest of them away. When your house is messy, your mind becomes messy, too: it’s harder to work productively or rest. I wrote more about the dangers of keeping too much stuff in this article.

Scientific research has shown that having a pet, especially a dog, improves our mental health. Pet owners are usually happier than people without pets, for many different reasons.

In general, animals are better than humans in two things. First, they give us unconditional love, unspoiled by expectations and uncertainty. Second, they appreciate small pleasures in life, like walking in the park, a delicious meal, or cuddles on the couch. Their lives are simple, their decisions are final.

I’m a dog owner for almost a year now, and I see many benefits of having a furry friend in my life. But getting a pet also means taking on more responsibility. My plans and priorities (especially those connected to traveling) had to be modified. Still, I regret nothing!